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Description
The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realms most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier. Whats mine stays mine. Step One: Kidnap someone cute. Step Two: Force her into marriage. Step Three: Try not to catch feelings. When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets
A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realm’s most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier.“What’s mine stays mine.”
Step One: Kidnap someone cute.
Step Two: Force her into marriage.
Step Three: Try not to catch feelings.
When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets is a knife to the throat and a furious woman with demands of her own. He may need her heroic bloodline to achieve ultimate dominion, but she’s not about to make this easy for him.
Arabella has already survived her father’s tower prison and a lifetime of being treated like property. Getting abducted by the realm’s most notorious villain is just another Tuesday. If she must be married to the infuriating (and infuriatingly attractive) Dark Lord, she’ll do it on her terms: freedom within his fortress, hands strictly to himself, and complete honesty about his plans.
But when those plans go awry, Kazimir faces his most terrifying challenge yet: he must date his own wife. Between magical training sessions, playing golf with the eyeballs of his enemies, and aphrodisiac dinners gone spectacularly wrong, his attempts at villainous seduction are failing at every turn.
As Kazimir and Arabella navigate magical explosions and jealous exes, they discover a far more terrifying prospect than war or magical catastrophe: They might actually be falling for each other.
This dark and sexy fantasy romance is perfect for readers who love: a morally gray antihero (who stays that way); a strong heroine who embraces her dark side (she doesn’t need rescuing, thanks); touch her and die trope; hilarious, wicked banter and sizzling spice; one bed/forced proximity; kidnapped bride/forced marriage; and dark humor.
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4.7 ★★★★★
Based on 1645 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Very nice
Color: White & Black, Size: 51"x67", Color: White & Black, Size: 51"x67"
Great quality. It is a very soft, thick throw to snuggle right up into. Looks so good drapped over my recliner that I bought a second one. Black and white throw pictured and folded in half. I am very pleased.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Soft and beautiful!
Color: Brown, Size: 60"x80"
Love it! So soft and pretty. A little small for my queen sized bed, I would size up. But beautiful and warm, feels high quality. No shedding.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2026
★★★★★ 4
DO NOT PUT IN DRYER
Color: Cream&grey, Size: 60"x80"
Very soft, very comfortable, very warm, sheds a lot at first. 9/10 for initial impression.
So how do you wash it? The instructions say take it to a professional dry cleaner which costs more than the blanket, so that option is out. I've been looking everywhere and everyone says something different, I've ruined two blankets trying to figure it out how to clean them. DO NOT PUT IN YOUR DRYER WITH HEAT, EVER, PERIOD. I ruined my second blanket by putting it in the dryer for just 7 minutes on 'delicate' heat, just don't do it. Even using no heat in the dryer will cause the material to become slightly more abrasive after each cycle. MACHINELESS AIR DRY ONLY. The faux fur has an insanely low fraying point and even getting it moderately warm causes it to become abrasive and have a harsh tangled 'dog blanket' feel to it that is permanent.
COLD WASH ONLY ON DELICATE. This seems to have little to no effect on the quality of the blanket. Use high quality detergent with little to no additives for delicates and a laundry bag. Fabric softeners are a big NO, they will shorten the life of your blanket substantially.
For colors, The Cream and Grey and Yellow and Grey are very nice and picture accurate. The Camal was far darker than the images would have you believe and it has a greenish copper tint to it. The Ivory looks awful with how they brushed the tips.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2025
★★★★★ 5
My Favorite Blanky
Color: Yellow&grey, Size: 60"x80", Color: Yellow&grey, Size: 60"x80"
The color of the yellow/grey is exceptional. The blending and pattern of the two colors makes for a very realistic looking pelt and the colors go with an extensive variety of other colors you may have in your home. In a couple of spots you could see little clumps where the fur was sticking out further than the rest, almost like it was trying to shed, but I just took scissors and cut the little tuffs to be even with the rest of the fur. Never once has it actually shed. It holds smells really well so washing it on a delicate cycle with those scent booster beads and then putting it in the dryer on the Air Dry setting creates this magical scent that fills an entire room. I have issues with a lot of textures so I’m very particular about my fabrics and furs and I can tell you this blanket feels like pure bliss and does not give me sensory overload or an icky feeling. It’s a great weight as well, id say it’s a medium-heavy blanket. It’s exactly what I was looking for. I have had this blanket for about a year now and the quality is definitely worth it. It’s held up against 3 big dogs, my toddler, and my newborn and it still looks like it just got delivered to me. Personally I thought the blanket was going to be bigger, but I am still content with the size. it’s gone from my couch to my bed and fits both perfectly. I love it on both. I feel that for the price the blanket could have been bigger but other than that, it was worth the money.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2024
★★★★★ 5
Recommend
Color: White & Black, Size: 60"x80"
Very nice appaearance, soft, and large enough for cozy winter nights. No shedding that I can tell. Happy with purchase.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2026
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